This is a Journal of my struggle to control all the STUFF that finds it's way into my home. I don't want to be the "keep this for me" person anymore!
I don’t like it when something in my house is dirty but I really don’t have the time to stop to clean it. Many times my work schedule and personal schedule are so busy that cleaning a dirty area doesn’t get done for weeks. Or even months if its a very time consuming task. For example; this area at the kitchen gate. It’s a gate to keep the furkid out of the studio. He often stands on his hind legs, leans on the cabinet with one foot, and looks over the gate. Or he stands with both front paws on the gate trying his best to be tall enough to see over that darned gate. The gate frustrates him when I have company. Over time, the gate and cabinet get quite dirty from furkid slobbers and grimy paws.
A dirty area like this becomes visual clutter to my mind. It does bug me. Its embarrassing when someone else sees it. I want to clean it but can’t. There’s no time or I don’t feel well. Eventually, lots of small areas like this add up to lots of big areas with no hope of getting cleaned until the customer work is finished. Customer quilts pay the bills. Cleaning doesn’t. Customer quilts never end. When one quilt leaves another takes its place.
Eventually, or sometimes, I do get around to cleaning the area. Wow, it feels good to see it clean! A little visual clutter is gone. A small thing done but the feeling is big.
Being a hoarder and being a clean freak at the same time sounds conflicting. You may think it’s not possible but I’m here to tell you, it does happen. I clean but I seldom throw away. Getting stuff out of my sight is simply a matter of putting the stuff in a room I don’t enter very often. What I look at everyday is reasonably clean and visually appealing but the hoarded stuff is still here. Maybe this is why so many hoarders own multiple homes or storage spaces? They put the hoarded stuff out of sight without getting rid of it?
The visual clutter of my hoarded stuff, in rooms behind closed doors, doesn’t bother me because I don’t see it. Out of sight, out of mind. With it out of my sight it can build up to its heart content because I don’t have to watch it multiply. I open a door, toss something in, and close the door.
What I worry about most is growing to old to clear up the clutter before it gets done. I really don’t want my kids to have to deal with it if I can’t take care of myself anymore or if I should die. It’s my mess so I should be the one to deal with it.
My mission is to clear up the clutter of my life once and for all. NOW. While I still can.